Time Does It's Trick, Doesn't It?

Do not know why I started this post, because I do not have anything that I have structured out in mind to write it here.

Current state of mind : Blur

Current emotion : Complicated

Current update : Hair permed >.<

Current occupation : Measuring land

All from above are craps. I have been sleeping for almost a week & for those who knows me well, knows how MUCH I could sleep. =.=" Yes, I have been sleeping since the day I am back to Penang. It reminds me of the time when I screwed up my FYP; I kept on sleeping cause tired of thinking. However, as people said, when you tried your best not to think or to forget something, you are actually reminding yourself about the same damn thing. That is the situation I'm in right now... Sleeping does not help, it makes you weak, physically... & mentally...

October is a bad month for me, always screwed up things during October; screwed it up last year, & same for this year (Many apologies to my friends who have their birthday in October, =.="). Best months for me will be from June to September, beautiful things happened in between that period of time. My luck I guess... Means that I still have 8 months to go for a better life? I do not know. Life is complicated, & I am complicated. What kind of person am I, I really want to know; even me myself do not understand myself now. Wonder if I have any psychological problem, but I thought only genius got those kinda symptoms (I could have admit that I am a genius, but too bad I am dumb = I guess I am mentally healthy). =.="

People sometimes do things without thinking, without understanding any of the consequences, why is it so? This is not an excuse, but this is true: They are blinded by their feelings, how they feel at that very moment; lost their mind, their normal thinking ability. Anyhow, it is bad, bad, very BAD... Others would not understand how it feels or why is that so, only you yourself understand why it carries you till the extend of being uncontrollable... till so far... Quoted as before:"...sometimes some things that may not matter much to you but it might means the world to another...", that is what I could say. Yet, it is never an excuse, it is no doubt wrong, but it is true. Anyhow, think twice before action, this is a fact.

People learn from mistakes, not everyone does, but I know there are people who are willing to try, & change. We learn something new everyday; we learn from mistakes, we learn from others, we learn. I learn something today, or I should say I have been through & knew this lesson was there all there long, but never really "learn" it well. "When you are holding on to something, you cannot force yourself to hold it for long, cause when it is too heavy for you, your hands will tell you when it is time to let go..." I realise that it is TIME who controls everything. Time does it's trick, doesn't it? Hope I can understand this well, & hope I can understand this soon... ^_^

Enough for today, I can crap so much even if I do not have anything in mind, would somebody just stop me??? =.=" NAH~ I know ya'll won't, cause I am doing this well, LOL~ Until then, have a nice day ahead~!

Thousand miles away - Jay Chou

Coming Back Is A Mistake...?

Hi there~! Should I introduce myself again? Nah~ I don't think it is necessary because those who came upon my blog is either my regular readers or someone I know. Anyway, I kept my promise, I shall blog today. ^_^ Have not been blogging for almost a month, do forgive me if my "blogging skill" gets sucky a bit, thanks~! LOL~

Blogging in a different place, different environment, different emotion, different weather (=.="), makes the blog so different I guess. Had mentioned last night that I thought of blogging few days ago, because there are many things stumbles upon my mind & I need a place to share. I read all my posts before I started to blog again, I like my "Crap of the Day" posts & those on ideologies. Yet, it hits me hard~! I realised that I am still the old "Mun Yee" that I always knew, never did really change, sigh~! It is bad, ya, it is bad... Why I said so or why is it so?

I did something really wrong last weekend, & when I realise it, it was too late. The same incident kept on replaying in my mind, over & over again, over & over again, over & over again... & these came across my mind:" A degree student am I? An undergraduate student am I? Am I wasting my mom's money or what? How can I do such a thing?" Damn~ I am such a bxtch~! Fxck~! (please forgive me on these vulgur words used, you might wanna use that on me if you know what had happened).

Anyhow, two months ago, in my post :: Chester Trip:: I wrote "Anyway, a lot of things happened lately. I realised that I am still not mature enough in thinking, there are many things that I never thought of, many things... I hardly stand in others' position to try understand their feelings, responsibilities, situations. Though I always said that every individual in this world is different, but I could hardly understand the same ideology. Besides, I still have the 'emotionally unstable' problem to be cure, =.=" Guess I am still not good in handling emotions (though my friend said I hide it very well), I know there is still space to improve myself. Shall control it better and think of others' situations this time, in depth. Hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih! Will try my best to 'upgrade' myself now, ^_^ I guess that is the reason that makes me not worth for anyone before, sigh! Will ganbade this time, Ganbarimasu~!"

I asked myself to improve two months ago, & two months later, I still need to repeat the same whole statement I made. I do not know whether I can change my attitude & handle emotions better in the future, but it is late... It is really the time to change now, & that is the reason that makes me not worth for anyone before, not worth for anyone right now... Saw a friend's status who went to the same trip with me --> "coming back is a mistake"... I feel so too... I miss Liverpool in a sudden, wish to go back & just stay there, maybe living in a new & unfamiliar country might be better than some place you are familiar with...

My first post since I'm back, I am sorry it is not a good one, nor a happy one. Anyway, will stand up again soon. As ya'll know, everytime I fell, I get up by myself, stay tough, stand still... Will work hard~! Wish me luck~! Until then, Adios~

I'm Back~~~

Hi there everyone~! Just wanna drop a message to let ya'll know that... IM BACK~~~ Anyway, not in the mood to blog today, thought of a lot, wish I could blog few days ago (I do not have internet connection few days ago)... but you know, blogging depends on mood, it comes & it goes... I do miss blogging a lot, guess I will continue it soon, maybe tomorrow I suppose? Who knows? ^_^ Until then, miss ya all... muaks~

I'm sorry...