:: Stop and stare ::

Hi there! You guys must be wondering why am I blogging so soon this time... Reason-less, just feel like wanna write something. Actually I do not really know what I wanna talk about this time at this moment, maybe I'll just share some of my feelings here for a while...

Have taken almost a week off from work, got a holiday, and got sick as well. During this holiday, suddenly... (When I said 'suddenly', it does really comes all of a sudden) Suddenly, I picked up this feeling, feeling that I was in the past... not a past that is very unforgettable nor not long ago... I got back the feeling, the feeling when I just finish my secondary school, have not go into collage yet... The period where I am doing nothing everyday, and at the same time, do not really know what my future holds. Just let time passed by, day by day... Do not even wanna care too much, do not feel like talking too much, do not even feel like eating a lot...

Had pick up this feeling for a week, and I'm currently still having this feeling, very strongly around my, affecting my mood, my view, my life... And just as so, I can't even hide this feeling of mine very well... I got colleagues that noticed I am a bit stress... Am I stress? I am not sure either, I just feel like this feeling is controlling me, affecting me a lot...

Though feeling like not very happy all the time is not a good thing (I'm not sure whether I am feeling not happy, or I am just currently drown in my thoughts), but somehow I like this feeling... The feeling where I am in a continuum, where my feelings belong to the past, but my body just working as usual... This continuum where I am in, confuses me about past and current, and makes me do not want to care that much, and hope to stay in the past, just like that... It feels like I am all alone in that continuum, and I just let it be so...

Am I running away from something? Am I avoiding something? I would say yes, maybe no, I am not sure really... Cause I am not sure where am I now...

Stop and stare

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere

Yeah I know that everyone gets scared

But I've become what I can't be, oh

Stop and stare

You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there

And you'd give anything to get what's fair

But fair ain't what you really need

Oh, can u see what I see