Coming Back Is A Mistake...?

Hi there~! Should I introduce myself again? Nah~ I don't think it is necessary because those who came upon my blog is either my regular readers or someone I know. Anyway, I kept my promise, I shall blog today. ^_^ Have not been blogging for almost a month, do forgive me if my "blogging skill" gets sucky a bit, thanks~! LOL~

Blogging in a different place, different environment, different emotion, different weather (=.="), makes the blog so different I guess. Had mentioned last night that I thought of blogging few days ago, because there are many things stumbles upon my mind & I need a place to share. I read all my posts before I started to blog again, I like my "Crap of the Day" posts & those on ideologies. Yet, it hits me hard~! I realised that I am still the old "Mun Yee" that I always knew, never did really change, sigh~! It is bad, ya, it is bad... Why I said so or why is it so?

I did something really wrong last weekend, & when I realise it, it was too late. The same incident kept on replaying in my mind, over & over again, over & over again, over & over again... & these came across my mind:" A degree student am I? An undergraduate student am I? Am I wasting my mom's money or what? How can I do such a thing?" Damn~ I am such a bxtch~! Fxck~! (please forgive me on these vulgur words used, you might wanna use that on me if you know what had happened).

Anyhow, two months ago, in my post :: Chester Trip:: I wrote "Anyway, a lot of things happened lately. I realised that I am still not mature enough in thinking, there are many things that I never thought of, many things... I hardly stand in others' position to try understand their feelings, responsibilities, situations. Though I always said that every individual in this world is different, but I could hardly understand the same ideology. Besides, I still have the 'emotionally unstable' problem to be cure, =.=" Guess I am still not good in handling emotions (though my friend said I hide it very well), I know there is still space to improve myself. Shall control it better and think of others' situations this time, in depth. Hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih! Will try my best to 'upgrade' myself now, ^_^ I guess that is the reason that makes me not worth for anyone before, sigh! Will ganbade this time, Ganbarimasu~!"

I asked myself to improve two months ago, & two months later, I still need to repeat the same whole statement I made. I do not know whether I can change my attitude & handle emotions better in the future, but it is late... It is really the time to change now, & that is the reason that makes me not worth for anyone before, not worth for anyone right now... Saw a friend's status who went to the same trip with me --> "coming back is a mistake"... I feel so too... I miss Liverpool in a sudden, wish to go back & just stay there, maybe living in a new & unfamiliar country might be better than some place you are familiar with...

My first post since I'm back, I am sorry it is not a good one, nor a happy one. Anyway, will stand up again soon. As ya'll know, everytime I fell, I get up by myself, stay tough, stand still... Will work hard~! Wish me luck~! Until then, Adios~